No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
