The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
