Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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