Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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