So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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