He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
