My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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