i just sent this text using only my big toe
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
