I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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