she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think i have two assholes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
