I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
