Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
