On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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