Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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