I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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