I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
