I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize