Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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