I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
