Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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