Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
