Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
