another moral hangover. fuck.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
