benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
