i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
