Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
