1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize