im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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