how can u be prego again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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