i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
