i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
