She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
