Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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