All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
