put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
