Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
