Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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