the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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