You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
