no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
