If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
