I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I will be naked everywhere
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
