I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
