areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
