You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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