worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
