it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
