What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
