I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
