I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
is it fun? or sober?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
