the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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