awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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