Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
