He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
