You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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