Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
